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The will of fire burns brightly in you! Learn the way of the Ninja and bring forth a new age of Shinobi!...Have fun!

 

 Raiden Maru

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The Canadian
Jack Jaeger
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Jack Jaeger

Jack Jaeger


Posts : 133
Join date : 2010-07-30

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PostSubject: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 4:50 am

Name: Raiden Maru
Alias:
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Height: 5'8''
Weight: 145 lbs

Appearance: Raiden is a slender man with long black hair and pale skin. He has tattoo's covering most of his body. His teeth are sharp and his eyes are a blood red.
Spoiler:

Race: Japanese
Hair: Black
Eyes: Red
Body: Slender
Ethnicity: Konohagakure

Personality: Raiden has a sick sense of humor. He is sadistic, malicious, and all around a bad person. He hates most people and would do anything to get back at a person who has hurt him. If it mean't hurting someone who had hurt him he would go so far as take his own life. Raiden loves to fight, training day and night to become the best shinobi the world has ever seen. His dream in life is to take over Konoha once the Hokage resigns and rule with an iron fist. Recently however he has shown a nicer side as it is hard to rule those who hate you. He has been working in teams and training those weaker than him as long as they work under the Village Leaf.

Village: Konohagakure
Title: Jounin
Special Titles: Sannin
Missing Ninja Class:

    Karma:
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Renown: 1,500

Rank: S
Experience Points: 1,500
Bloodline:
Element: Doton (Earth), Futon (Wind).

Fighting Type/Style: Genjutsu Mastery, Ninjutsu Secondary
Sub Fighting style: Genjutsu Master
Inventory:

  • Pouch of kunai
  • Pouch of Shuriken
  • Katana




Kekkai Genkai:

Combat Styles:


Abilities:

Bloodline Limits:

Jutsu Total: 8
Jutsus:
Spoiler:



Missions Completed:

  • D-Rank:
  • C-Rank:
  • B-Rank:
  • A-Rank:
  • S-Rank:
  • Total:


Background: Raiden was born to a small group of shinobi known as the Maru clan. Unfortunately for Raiden this meant years upon years of abuse from his father, a drunk who never made it as a ninja. His mother didn't help ever, instead taking a few beatings herself. One day Raiden's father become so intoxicated and out of his mind that he beat his mother to death, breaking her ribs from kicking her while she was on the ground so much that her ribs had punctured her lung in three different places. Raiden's father, realizing what he had just done, took a kitchen knife and slit his throat, not knowing his son was watching. Raiden was so shocked that he blanked out, not remembering those events to this day. From then on Raiden, who was told of what happened, vowed to kill anyone who tried to hurt him the way his father did. At thirteen he was alone in the world with no relatives or friends who would take him in. He found shelter with the Hokage, who reluctantly took in the poor child as it would look bad if she did not help one of her future shinobi. Raiden trained day in and day out, working as hard as he could to become the best shinobi alive so he could pay his debt to the Hokage. As Raiden did this he killed anyone who stood in his way, beating and destroying anyone and everyone he did not like. That was until the chuunin exams.

The written part of the exam was simple for him. He had been studying with the Hokage and had almost no problem on it. It was the second part of the exams that almost got him. During the retrieval of the final scroll he was ambushed and had to fend off three Iwagakure Shinobi as his team fled to hand in the scrolls, using him as a sacrifice which made him hate people even more. He managed to defeat the three, killing them all in the process. On third part of the exam he was put up against yet another Iwagakure shinobi who Raiden took out all of his anger and frustration on, leaving him in a coma by the end of his fight against Raiden that he would never wake up from. There were mixed feelings about Raiden afterwards as he was lethal, yes, but also dangerous to the well-being of the village.

Raiden was then assigned to a new team, Team Akuma. For once in his life he was put with shinobi who were similar to him, no parents, extreme strength and military prowess, as well as mental issues. The team was for the most part a success until the day everyone except two, Raiden and Komichi, were killed during a sortie to Amegakure when they were out numbered seventeen to one. Amegakure officials were given notice before hand that Team Akuma were coming. Komichi and Raiden were able to survive by taking the Jounin Commander hostage, only to kill him once they were far enough away. After that Raiden and Komichi became best friends. They loved eachothers company. Until the day Komichi planned a Coup-d'etat to overthrow the Konoha government by killing the Hokage. Raiden had no choice but to kill Komichi and the other three ANBU level shinobi that sided with Komichi. This meant the end of friendships for Raiden.

Raiden soon after became secluded, only talking to the Hokage for missions and debriefings. It was only when he was promoted to Jounin that he began working as a team again. Given the special title of Sannin he was loved by the village, despite his questionable acts. He is currently attempting to put together the second Team Akuma, to train and make the next group of shinobi to protect Konoha.


Last edited by Jack Jaeger on Tue Aug 17, 2010 9:07 pm; edited 11 times in total
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The Canadian
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The Canadian


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 10:32 am

Trashed, you did not wow me.
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The Canadian
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The Canadian


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 10:54 am

Moved back at user request to be edited.
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Lyte

Lyte


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 11:17 am

You have an extra style point cause you have no bloodline. Just saying.
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Jack Jaeger

Jack Jaeger


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 11:24 am

edited
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Mitsuomi Sensui
Head of Storyline
Mitsuomi Sensui


Posts : 238
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Age : 37
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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:33 pm

You do not meet the requirements for these two techniques since Doton is your first element, secondly your ninjutsu is only secondary, you do not have enough points in this one to even begin trying a ninjutsu like these two.



Spoiler:

I'm not sure if they edited the rules but I suppose putting a point in Taijutsu making it a secondary as well with ninjutsu is okay, make the specific changes please.
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Jack Jaeger

Jack Jaeger


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:36 pm

edited
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Jack Jaeger

Jack Jaeger


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:37 pm

edited again, took away raiton
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Lady Chemical
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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:38 pm

Well thank you for doing my job Mitsu >.< anyway I think everything seems alright is there anything else you want to add or anything before I finalize
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Lyte

Lyte


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:43 pm

Yes I have a comment. See how he has no mastery style points? Yeah, that means he CANNOT HAVE ANY S RANK TECHNIQUES. thats how this system works. Youd think the staff would actually know the rules of their own forum, but I guess not.
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Jack Jaeger

Jack Jaeger


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:48 pm

isnt my sub master tho?
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Mitsuomi Sensui
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Mitsuomi Sensui


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:49 pm

You heard her...S ranks out of the question, get rid of the Taijutsu if you want mastery in Genjutsu
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Lyte

Lyte


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:50 pm

Did you just call me a girl?
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Mitsuomi Sensui
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Mitsuomi Sensui


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:51 pm

Lol just kidding lad, but you know what I meant I was merely trying to push your buttons
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Jack Jaeger

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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:53 pm

edited, now can i use the S ranked jutsu?
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Lyte

Lyte


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:54 pm

No, you need to make your style points read like this.

Fighting Type/Style: Genjutsu Mastery, Ninjutsu Secondary
Sub Fighting style: Genjutsu Master
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Ahira
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Ahira


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:56 pm

Quote :
You'd think the staff would actually know the rules of their own forum, but I guess not.

I don't think this comment was necessary, but whatever.

Finally, I find it highly unlikely that your character is carrying nothing on his person. That's just suicide. Genjutsu master or not, you're screwed if someone breaks your Genjutsu and they come at you ready to bash your face in. Put something in your inventory, even if it's a pouch of kunai. You never know when you're going to need to defend yourself.


Last edited by Ahira on Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Lady Chemical
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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:57 pm

Dammit lyte every time I go to post you or someone else do it >.<, but yes exactly what he said, yet again thank you second person to do my job...And now Ahira lol I have to keep editing my posts lol *sniffs*
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Mitsuomi Sensui
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Mitsuomi Sensui


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:57 pm

It's called Moderate effectiveness lass
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Jack Jaeger

Jack Jaeger


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:01 pm

GAH all of you chill im not even done with my character and ur raping me with comments just let me finish please.
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Ahira
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Ahira


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:02 pm

-smiles- Then please put WIP in the title of your profile so we don't all maul it like this. When you don't have that in the subject heading, we all think you're finished.

-shrugs and smirks- Just sayin' and a future heads up.
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Jack Jaeger

Jack Jaeger


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:06 pm

Well.... I'm done now... so there...
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Mitsuomi Sensui
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Mitsuomi Sensui


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:12 pm

Alright there lad let me ask you this, 9,000 renown points, how so?...should your limit not be 1,500 until we see your reason to gain it IC?..I don't think thats unreasonable eh lad? You have no missions under your belt or any actions IC so 1,500 renown points it'll have to be, the only reason you have that is because your Sannin, change that one there.


Last edited by MitsuomiSensui on Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:15 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Jack Jaeger

Jack Jaeger


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:14 pm

better?
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Ahira
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Ahira


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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:49 pm

This is MUCH better. Any objections?
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PostSubject: Re: Raiden Maru   Raiden Maru Icon_minitime1

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